Body Positivity and Confidence are Great, but What About Comfort?

*This is a repost that will hopefully respark your confidence for the new year!  Here’s to an incredible 2020!!!

We’ve talked a lot about body positivity and confidence here.  A lot.  That topic is a main focus on this blog, actually.  Recently, I was having a think and what crossed my mind was about the day-to-day of a person that is body confident and body positive.  How is that working out for ya?

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I’ve spent the last five years really getting down to it in terms of being body confident and positive.  You can just decide to be the thing and then be the thing.  However, maintaining the thing is a different story.  That takes work.  Hard work.  Looking in the mirror and always, always, stopping yourself before you say something negative about yourself.  Stopping yourself from making a comment about a picture a friend took of you at a party when you weren’t ready or didn’t know it was being taken.  Heck, stopping yourself from negative talk about photos you DID know were being taken because you booked a photography session.  These are hard habits to break, but I did.  You can too.

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Breaking these habits took literally years of constant vigilance to kick them to the proverbial curb.  Stoppping the negative from being spoken into that mirror.  Not saying the negative thing about that photo before someone else says it (at least that is why you claim to say it, but in truth your friends are too busy looking at themselves in that photo and having their own battle to say anything nasty to you about you).

I now get to reap the benefits from all that work to be sure.  Now I get my photos back, and I am genuinely happy with them and want to share them with my friends.  I get ready in the morning and genuinely like what I see before I head out the door.  Those are the confidence crisis moments.  When you are put to the test.  If you were on “The A Team”, it would be welding time!  You welded real good, too!   Congrats!  Now what?

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The habits are broken.  Now it is time to make body comfort happen.  This one isn’t quite so sexy.  This one is tricky.  Body comfort is when you get up and get dressed, get through that little mirror crisis moment without a second thought.  Body comfort is when you spy yourself in a shop window and just keep on walking.  You don’t have a crisis moment.  There is no test.  You didn’t even think about your reflection at all.  Just imagine it!  It is possible.  It is. The crisis moments still will happen from time-to-time, but for the most part, you are just, you.  You know?  Cool, right?!

How do you make this happen?  Honestly, I don’t think this is one you can make happen by doing anything.  It seems to be a by-product of constant body confidence and positivity.  You get yet another benefit and isn’t that nice?

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I realized that I had indeed achieved this state recently.  I was having a discussion with someone about life and junk and stuff, and  I said, “I am the love of my life.  I love myself enough.”  You know what?  Every word of that was true!  You’ll get there.  I did.

Love, Kim and Scout

Why I Decided to Get a Mobility Scooter

If you’ve ever met me in person, you know that I have mobility issues due to severe arthritis in my right knee.  I have tremendous pain when walking and standing.  I need, and will be getting, a knee replacement at some point, but until then, my pain took over my life.

While dealing with doctors, figuring out healthy ways to manage my pain and just plain old living life, I found myself starting to avoid doing the things I love.  I had to gear myself up for comic cons and theme parks- two of my favorite things to do.  I would go, spend that time in tremendous pain, and usually have to leave early.  When you take away the things that make you happiest and are in constant pain, it begins to have an effect on you, and not a good one.

These things also have a tendency to snowball.  Not going out means less invitations to go out in general.  Staying at home is isolating.  My pain got so bad I had to stop my workouts.  I have worked out on a regular schedule since I was in middle school, so stopping for the first time in my life has been depressing.  On top of all this, I’m a 52 year old woman, so that means menopause.  I found very quickly that menopause means weight gain.  So, the added weight and not being able to workout, made the pain even worse.

Thankfully I have a very smart kid…

He sat me down and just said, “Please get a scooter.  Then you can have some fun again.”  My first response was, “NEVER!”  Like you, I had the image of a lazy, fat and old person on a scooter at Disneyland.  I wasn’t that person, and darn it, I wasn’t going to become that person.  But here’s the thing…

That person does not exist.  I was taking a stand on a complete non-issue.  People on scooters have any number of conditions that make walking and standing impossible for them.  I was one of those stupid judgy people.  My thoughts were, if they were really disabled, they’d be in a wheelchair.  For me I thought, wheelchair=legit.  What an idiot I was!  So, I guess Karma came calling for me on this one.  Fair enough.

So, how was the first day out with the scooter?  Humbling.  Embarrassing.  For about 5 minutes.  I wheeled up to bag check and the trams to go to Disneyland, and realized that without the scooter, I would already be in severe pain, looking for the next opportunity to sit and gritting my teeth through the day, quietly gutting it out.  With the scooter, I was smiling and laughing with my kid and no pain!  I was looking forward to, and enjoying, a great day!  Believe me, your embarrassment disappears really fast when you’re out of pain and enjoying life again.

Now, I go all the places I used to go again!

Are there people that don’t want to be hanging out with someone traveling on a scooter?  Maybe, but I am pretty sure I haven’t met them yet.  My kid, a teenager, is not even a little embarrassed.  If anything, he wants me to get a side-car for him (um, yeah, No.)

So, I’m going to my first comic con with a scooter in April at WonderCon, which is daunting.  I am super anxious to roll into the con on my scooter, but I’m going to take care of myself.  If I run into an ex and they think me travelling on wheels to be amusing, well, they’re the asshole, not me.  If you see me, know that I’m grateful to not be on my feet, not due to laziness, but I am out of pain and can now participate in my life.  Turns out living my best life just needed a little transportation upgrade.

Until next time…

Love, Kim and Benji

 

My Interview with Plus Size Nerd about Body Confidence and Positivity!

I recently got to be interviewed by Plus Size Nerd on Facebook Live.

We talked about a few topics, but mainly my decision to get a mobility scooter to take back my life and get out in the world again.  Video is below.

If you have a sec, please give Plus Size Nerd a follow and a like!  Her site is full of great information; from style guides to realistic size guides.  What a great resource!

Thanks again to Plus Size Nerd for the interview!

Love, Kim and Benji

*Photo from plussizenerd.com

Shoes for Pin-Up/Dapper Styles

When you are prepping a new dapper look for a convention or just trying to accessorize a new dress, one key item you need to think about are shoes to complete your look.

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Here are a few styles that will work with vintage-inspired fashions.  All the choices are reasonably priced with shopping links below as well as photo examples.

The Ballet Flat

This style is perfect for not only dresses, but pedal-pushers or capri pants as well.  I’ve never been a big fan, because they have a tendency to give me a blister on my heels.  However, I just found this flat from Skechers that stays put.  The shoes also have more cushioning than the usual ballet flat.  Buy your Skechers ballet flat here.

15395_BBKThe Oxford

This shoe has a few different types as far as heel styles.  There are flat, block heeled and traditional heeled options.  I really love this block heeled version I got from Amazon.  They have padding on the inside and the block heel gives me lots of support.  Buy your  Block-heeled Oxford here.

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Classic Converse Chuck Taylors

This shoe is not only great for 50’s looks, but for 80’s, goth, punk or rock looks as well.  It is the ultimate casual shoe.  Now, while it is not padded on the inside, you can get insoles that provide support if you need it.  Chucks come in every color imaginable, and a high-top version as well.  Buy your classic Chucks here.

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Saddle Shoes

Besides the Chuck Taylors, the other shoe that leaps to mind when someone is thinking about vintage 50s fashions is the saddle shoe.  Named because the contrasting stripe resembles a saddle on the shoe.  You can get saddle shoes in a variety of colors and even high heel versions, but the classic black and white flat-heeled version is the best way to go.  Get your saddle shoes here.

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Saddle shoes aren’t the best for long days on your feet, so I created a comfy version from a white sneaker.  To create your own, will only take a few minutes of your time.  Click here for the how-to instructions.

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If you have any go-to styles for your dapper looks, please leave us a comment below.  We love to hear from you!

Until next time…

Love, Kim and Benji

Outfit of the Day: Aristocats Dress by The Disney Dress Shop

Our latest outfit of the day is the Aristocats pin-up dress by The Disney Dress Shop.

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I love the style of this dress so much!

 

The color of the dress is my favorite part.  I just love that the designer embraced the pink and ran with it.  The detailing on the skirt is also so beautiful.

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Like all Disney Dress Shop dresses, I love the fit!  It is a very fancy looking dress, but as comfortable as a t-shirt.  And…pockets!  I also love that they added sleeves to this one.  I hope they continue this trend with the new dresses.

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Pick up your own dress here.  The blue acrylic bag and shoes are from Amazon.  Sunglasses are a lucky find at the dollar store. Click links to purchase.

 

Happy shopping!

Love, Kim and Benji

Fashion Alert: Snag Hosiery

I recently purchased some new biker shorts from a new company that I kept seeing on my Facebook and Instagram feeds, Snag Tights.

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They claim to be truly-size inclusive.  They also claim for maximum comfort.  They were honest in both of these claims.

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If you are plus-sized, like me, you are familiar with the struggle.  You get hosiery that claims to be plus-sized, and it just plain isn’t.  You followed their size guide with current measurements.  You are so full of hope, but you have to give yourself a hernia getting them on, then they slowly descend down your legs all day long.  Then you throw them in a drawer and never wear them again.  Money down the drain!

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When I received the shorts, I took them out of the package and audibly groaned.  Not again!  But, they really and truly do stretch.  The fabric stretches in all directions.  The shorts are pretty thin, so my next skeptic thought was, “OK, they fit, but will they stop chub rub situations?”  I wore them all day at Disneyland, and I am happy to say that they didn’t budge, no chub rub, I forgot I had them on.  Really.

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With a $13 price tag, which is way cheaper than Spanx, I cannot recommend these enough.

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One thing to note, unlike Spanx, these are not shapewear.  They alleviate VPL and chub rub, but they do not hold you in or smooth you.

One more positive thing to point out, they use all sizes, shapes, ages, abilities and races to advertise their products.  They take inclusiveness to a whole new wonderful level.

Go shopping for Snag products here.

Happy Shopping!

Love, Kim and Benji

*All images us.snagtights.com

Outfit of the Day: Loki Dress from Her Universe

Our latest outfit of the day is the Loki pin-up dress by Her Universe for The Disney Dress Shop.

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I love this dress so much for so many reasons, but the stand-out reason is the detailing on the dress itself.

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The basket weave pattern at the waistline nips in my waist perfectly, without sacrificing any comfort.  The detailing on the skirt is so beautiful.  It is the perfect Loki bound dress.

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Like all Disney Dress Shop dresses, I love the fit!  It is a very fancy looking dress, but as comfortable as a t-shirt.  And…pockets!

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Pick up your own dress here.  The tesseract prop was a DIY.  Click here to make your own.  The horn headband, necklace, blue acrylic bag and shoes are all from Amazon.  Sunglasses are a lucky find at the dollar store. Click links to purchase.

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Happy shopping!

Love, Kim and Benji