Why I Decided to Get a Mobility Scooter

If you’ve ever met me in person, you know that I have mobility issues due to severe arthritis in my right knee.  I have tremendous pain when walking and standing.  I need, and will be getting, a knee replacement at some point, but until then, my pain took over my life.

While dealing with doctors, figuring out healthy ways to manage my pain and just plain old living life, I found myself starting to avoid doing the things I love.  I had to gear myself up for comic cons and theme parks- two of my favorite things to do.  I would go, spend that time in tremendous pain, and usually have to leave early.  When you take away the things that make you happiest and are in constant pain, it begins to have an effect on you, and not a good one.

These things also have a tendency to snowball.  Not going out means less invitations to go out in general.  Staying at home is isolating.  My pain got so bad I had to stop my workouts.  I have worked out on a regular schedule since I was in middle school, so stopping for the first time in my life has been depressing.  On top of all this, I’m a 52 year old woman, so that means menopause.  I found very quickly that menopause means weight gain.  So, the added weight and not being able to workout, made the pain even worse.

Thankfully I have a very smart kid…

He sat me down and just said, “Please get a scooter.  Then you can have some fun again.”  My first response was, “NEVER!”  Like you, I had the image of a lazy, fat and old person on a scooter at Disneyland.  I wasn’t that person, and darn it, I wasn’t going to become that person.  But here’s the thing…

That person does not exist.  I was taking a stand on a complete non-issue.  People on scooters have any number of conditions that make walking and standing impossible for them.  I was one of those stupid judgy people.  My thoughts were, if they were really disabled, they’d be in a wheelchair.  For me I thought, wheelchair=legit.  What an idiot I was!  So, I guess Karma came calling for me on this one.  Fair enough.

So, how was the first day out with the scooter?  Humbling.  Embarrassing.  For about 5 minutes.  I wheeled up to bag check and the trams to go to Disneyland, and realized that without the scooter, I would already be in severe pain, looking for the next opportunity to sit and gritting my teeth through the day, quietly gutting it out.  With the scooter, I was smiling and laughing with my kid and no pain!  I was looking forward to, and enjoying, a great day!  Believe me, your embarrassment disappears really fast when you’re out of pain and enjoying life again.

Now, I go all the places I used to go again!

Are there people that don’t want to be hanging out with someone traveling on a scooter?  Maybe, but I am pretty sure I haven’t met them yet.  My kid, a teenager, is not even a little embarrassed.  If anything, he wants me to get a side-car for him (um, yeah, No.)

So, I’m going to my first comic con with a scooter in April at WonderCon, which is daunting.  I am super anxious to roll into the con on my scooter, but I’m going to take care of myself.  If I run into an ex and they think me travelling on wheels to be amusing, well, they’re the asshole, not me.  If you see me, know that I’m grateful to not be on my feet, not due to laziness, but I am out of pain and can now participate in my life.  Turns out living my best life just needed a little transportation upgrade.

Until next time…

Love, Kim and Benji

 

Happy 2020 and Happy Blogiversary to Us!

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had an amazing time over the holidays.  We had a great time, and now we are looking forward to a new year of fashion!  There are some great new things coming up this year that we need to get ready for.  WonderCon, Spring Dapper Day and the opening of the Avengers Campus at Disney California Adventure.

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Until then, here’s a quick recap of my holiday trip to Disneyland (Benji had theatre and couldn’t make it.  Just want you all to know I’m not a jerk that went to Disneyland without my kid!)

I wore my Disney Dress Shop dress and silver holo ears.

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This dress is no longer available at shopdisney.com, but you can still get it on Amazon.  Same goes for the ears.

I had a great time enjoying the holiday decor, not to mention the treats.

So, here is our first outfit of the day for the year.  A year with tons of fashion adventures ahead. So, stay tuned…

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Until next time…

 

Love, Kim and Benji

Happy Blogiversary to Us!

This month marks the beginning of our fifth year blogging our adventures and fashion and adventures in fashion.

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We have so much to come this year, so please stay tuned!  We love and appreciate you all and your continued support.

Love, Kim and Benji

Here’s to Being Seen!

*This is a repost that will hopefully respark your confidence for the new year!  Here’s to an incredible 2020!!!

I recently went back to therapy.  I like to go every few years for a kind of “brain tune-up”.  This time around has been especially helpful.  My therapist just gets right to the heart of things quickly.

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Why am I telling you this?  Well, the other day I was at my appointment, and the subject of holidays came up.  I am not especially fond of any holiday except Halloween these days.  I don’t like Thanksgiving in particular, but it wasn’t always like that.

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When I was a kid, I liked all the holidays, including Thanksgiving.  After my Grandmother died, I stopped liking the holidays.  The holidays became this tense and unpleasant time where everyone complained about everyone else, and the energy was just plain… bad.

So, my therapist asked me what in particular was so great about the holidays when my Grandmother was still with us.  I told her about how it was my job to set the table.  I was my Grandmother’s assistant.  She would go to the china cabinet and get out this photo from a magazine of an elegant place setting, so I could copy it.  That photo always came out to help me during the holidays, and I just liked helping her.  I felt so proud, so important.

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Unfortunately, after my Grandfather passed, the family was packing up the house, and I couldn’t find the picture.  I was going to frame it.  So, that is why I really enjoyed the holidays, but I didn’t feel like I had communicated to my therapist why.  As usual, she knew exactly what I was trying to say.  “You were seen during those times.  She saw you.”  Wow, just wow.  Yes, that is exactly what it was!

My Grandmother always “saw” me.  She saw me when I was happy, sad, silly, whatever.  She loved me no matter which one of those people I was.

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Cut to today and my life as it is now.  It is pretty great, I gotta say.  I am seen.  I am living my best life.  I have a job I love.  I have a great home.  I have friends.  I have my writing to express myself.  I have a blog and a hobby that makes me happy.  I had no idea that my blog and cosplaying were my way of being “seen” again!

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Out of all of these great things in my life, most of all, I have a great kid.  Now that I know how to properly express it, let me say this.  My one job with him is to make sure that he is “seen”.  Everyday and in every way.  I think I already am, but I definitely will.  I will because of how great being seen made me feel when I was a kid, and I want that for my own kid now.

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So, first my Grandmother gave me a love of style and fashion, mid-century style in particular.  Then she “saw” me as I was.  Both of these gifts serve me well in my adult life.  Finding cosplay and blogging is a way to be seen, and my love of 50s style is a perfect fit for my cosplays.  I feel like she is still helping me.  I love how I continue to discover new ways to be grateful to my Grandmother.  What incredible gifts she gave me.

Helping you be seen is one of our goals here at inplainsight.style.  Let us know what you want to see to help you achieve that goal, so I can pass my Grandmother’s gift to me on to you!

So, here’s to being seen!

Love, Kim and Benji

*All pro photos by Justin Davidson Photography.  Book him here.

Body Positivity and Confidence are Great, but What About Comfort?

*This is a repost that will hopefully respark your confidence for the new year!  Here’s to an incredible 2020!!!

We’ve talked a lot about body positivity and confidence here.  A lot.  That topic is a main focus on this blog, actually.  Recently, I was having a think and what crossed my mind was about the day-to-day of a person that is body confident and body positive.  How is that working out for ya?

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I’ve spent the last five years really getting down to it in terms of being body confident and positive.  You can just decide to be the thing and then be the thing.  However, maintaining the thing is a different story.  That takes work.  Hard work.  Looking in the mirror and always, always, stopping yourself before you say something negative about yourself.  Stopping yourself from making a comment about a picture a friend took of you at a party when you weren’t ready or didn’t know it was being taken.  Heck, stopping yourself from negative talk about photos you DID know were being taken because you booked a photography session.  These are hard habits to break, but I did.  You can too.

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Breaking these habits took literally years of constant vigilance to kick them to the proverbial curb.  Stoppping the negative from being spoken into that mirror.  Not saying the negative thing about that photo before someone else says it (at least that is why you claim to say it, but in truth your friends are too busy looking at themselves in that photo and having their own battle to say anything nasty to you about you).

I now get to reap the benefits from all that work to be sure.  Now I get my photos back, and I am genuinely happy with them and want to share them with my friends.  I get ready in the morning and genuinely like what I see before I head out the door.  Those are the confidence crisis moments.  When you are put to the test.  If you were on “The A Team”, it would be welding time!  You welded real good, too!   Congrats!  Now what?

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The habits are broken.  Now it is time to make body comfort happen.  This one isn’t quite so sexy.  This one is tricky.  Body comfort is when you get up and get dressed, get through that little mirror crisis moment without a second thought.  Body comfort is when you spy yourself in a shop window and just keep on walking.  You don’t have a crisis moment.  There is no test.  You didn’t even think about your reflection at all.  Just imagine it!  It is possible.  It is. The crisis moments still will happen from time-to-time, but for the most part, you are just, you.  You know?  Cool, right?!

How do you make this happen?  Honestly, I don’t think this is one you can make happen by doing anything.  It seems to be a by-product of constant body confidence and positivity.  You get yet another benefit and isn’t that nice?

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I realized that I had indeed achieved this state recently.  I was having a discussion with someone about life and junk and stuff, and  I said, “I am the love of my life.  I love myself enough.”  You know what?  Every word of that was true!  You’ll get there.  I did.

Love, Kim and Scout

The “Rules” for Body Confidence and Positivity

*This is a repost that will hopefully respark your confidence for the new year!  Here’s to an incredible 2020!!!

We’ve been talking a lot about body confidence and body positivity for the past year on this blog.  It occured to me the other day, that not everyone has this and may not even know what the heck it is.

How do you achieve body confidence?  I mean, there are so many things out there working against you.  The photoshopped models in magazines, fat shaming celebrities on the internet and on television, weight loss “solutions” in infomercials, trolls leaving comments on just about everything, things like Leslie Jones actually having trouble getting a designer to work with her for the “Ghostbusters” premiere (Christian Siriano, for the win!)

I put the word, “rules” in quotes because this blog will never, and I mean, never, write rules for how to go about your life, express yourself and conduct your business.  This blog is not the destination for that, but I did think a list of “rules” for achieving that body confidence would be helpful.  I know that some of them were a nice reminder to me, so I hope you get some benefit from them as well.  Here we go!

  • Stop all talk about “flaws” or hiding anything.  As many different people as there are in the world, that is how many different types of looking people there are.  Some have freckles, some do not, some have birthmarks, some do not, etc.  These things are what make you, you.  They are not flaws.  I’ll give you an example.  I have a double-chin.  Do I like it?  Hell, no!  I’ve worked very hard to learn how to pose in pictures so that it doesn’t show.  Is it a flaw?  Hell, no!  It is part of my face.  You don’t have to like all the parts of you, but don’t refer to any part of you as a “flaw”.  Got it?  Good.
  • Be honest with yourself about who you are and what you look like.  I am a plus size, 49 year old woman.  I have a big butt.  I have a tummy pooch.  I love my butt, but don’t like my tummy.  I’m never going to be built like Scarlett Johannson.  She’s already taking care of that job nicely.  My job is to look like Kim, the single mom who is 49 and plus sized.  Once I let go of the “wish I looked like…”, I was free.
  • Take good care of your health.  That means feeding your body, your spirit and your soul.  That means movement everyday.  You don’t have to go to the gym everyday, but get out and do something everyday.  Go get your check-ups.  Get to know your body and how it works.  Be mindful.
  • Stop saying that you will wear the thing or do the thing after “you lose the weight” or “get skinny”.  Do not deny life and the joys of it to yourself.  Get that dress you want in the size you are now and enjoy life already!  Go on that vacation now and take that dress with you!
  • When you look in the mirror or see photos of yourself, no more negative talk.  Only positive is allowed.  This one is important.  This one is also hard.  We all seem to be hard wired to be so mean to ourselves.  I still fall into this trap from time to time.  I have to be mindful and stop myself.  It is worth it.
  • From now on, no article of clothing is off limits to you.  Do you like leggings?  Wear leggings.  There are websites that sell them in your size.  Yes, there are!  Send me a comment, and I guarantee you I will be able to get you to a site that sells them in your size.  Never say, “I wish I could wear _____.”  Instead, say, You CAN wear _______.
  • Take the fashion rule book and throw it away.  No white after Labor Day.  Whatever!  Wear what you want, when you want.  No mini-skirts after age 35.  Heck with that!  I like my legs.  I wear a mini skirt whenever I want.  Yourself, your body, your rules.  You are fabulous!
  • Take ALL the selfies.  Delete the crap ones and keep the good ones.  Find articles like this one and use the tips.  Post them on Insta and Facebook and Twitter.  People say you’re vain.  So what?  Unfollow them.  Delete their comments.  Let them go.  That is their negativity.  They have to own it and figure out how to discard it and live their life.  You already have a job.  Take care of you.
  • Never EVER feed the trolls.  You are giving them what they want.  Don’t do it, kids!  Delete and block and move on.

I hope these tips help you get to a place where you feel nice and comfy with yourself, everyday.  We all have our “bad hair days”, but loving yourself and being your biggest fan, well, it is worth it.

Send us your selfies and your “rules” in the comments.  We love hearing from you!

Until next time…

Love, Kim and Scout